Approaching the ninth month this year, I couldn't help but take a deep sigh. On one hand, I feel grateful for the activities and eventful weeks that I got to participate in. Amazingly, I hadn't experienced a major flare up so far, despite the energy-consuming bustle. On the other hand, these productivities often snatch my contemplating moments, which normally energise me. It is during contemplation that I can shift my focus from the present to the future and will take specific steps to ensure that I am pursuing goals that reflect my long-term goals. And by contemplating, I become steadily more confident in my decision-making abilities. When my internal locus of control shifts back into place, I can regain my sense of empathy and connection with others. Moreover, only by spending time alone in contemplation that I can enter the sanctuary of my Lord, fully enjoy His presence and receive His Word wholeheartedly. As a consequence of my lack of introverting time this year, I have become less self-affirming and relied mostly on other people's discernment and validation. And to be honest, that puts pressure on those around me and slowly distances myself from God. I miss being prayerful.
But this post isn't about my inner fatigue or my spiritual drought.
