Compared to 2015 where I stored my musing every day here in my blog, 2016 had been a less contemplative year for me. I hadn’t been writing as much as I used to. I’ve become more attuned to what’s happening in the now. I’ve laughed more and cried more. I'm learning to be present. It sounded weird, at first. Me? Living in the moment? Whew…I gotta recharge. #BRB
I remember, shortly after I replaced my old calendar with 2016 one, I promised myself to be a better person by hoping to accomplish these things and those things. Nothing grandiose, I guess. But as always (and I’m learning to be less surprised), my well-crafted plans were proven to be rather unexciting as months went by.
I thought I would leave my home country again by February. I thought I would be able to speak and write in Deutsch within several months. I thought I would be a graduate student by September. I thought I would earn my own living by being a stay-at-home designer. I thought I would get rid of my walker and start driving my car again.
Instead…
I had to cancel my graduate admission. I didn’t finish my German course. I had to stay in the hospital. Twice.
It’s easier to just evaluate the whole year by looking at what went wrong or what happened lately: unexpected news of friends passing away, political disputes and religious arguments that bred a plethora of provocative Facebook posts. But it isn’t fair to announce that the year had been awful based only on this week’s newsflash.
When a situation started to overwhelm me and kept me from seeing the good, I knew it's about time to practice the pause. I spent my nights thinking about how the last twelve months went by, how I reacted to every single occurrence, how they shaped me and how I feel about it. I came to realise that the wonders which God has done were too numerous to count.
To name a few, I was thankful that 2016 allowed me to do/have:
- Personal art projects
- Worship/jamming session on Fridays
- Writing a short film with some former co-workers
- Connecting with fellow autoimmune battlers via Autoimun Indonesia
- Growing with Alumni Muda
- Learning from humble leaders at Indonesian Younger Leader Conference
- Co-writing a book about Multiple Sclerosis with my neurologist
- Finally figuring out Mr. Whateveryourlastnameis' actual last name
- Family reunion and quality time(s)
At the end of the day, contemplating God's goodness is invigorating. It helped me believe how good our God is and how loved we are by Him. What's often challenging is to still have that belief when I fail to recall His goodness. So this year, how about we practice fixing our eyes on what's good and pleasing? How about we see every turbulence as an opportunity to re-double our prayer? How about we ask the Lord to teach us more about Himself through our circumstances and people around us so that He become more real in our heart and life? May every living and breathing moment broaden, deepen and heighten our revelation of Christ.
God's goodness, not ours, is the basis for our worth.
— Frank Viola
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