Day 125

Tonight I managed to sleep before midnight. But at around 2 am, something woke me up. Then I decided to write down the thing that suddenly distracted my mind and kept me awake.

Dear Mr. Whateveryourlastnameis, 

Sometimes I wonder if we have met or will ever meet at all. Who are you and what is it you're doing that keeps you so busy? Your job? Your studies? Your adventure? What are you pursuing so passionately that delays you from wondering about me or finding me?

Sometimes I wonder if you have secretly collected information about me. Do you know what I like? What I don't like? Or if you haven't, do we love the same things? Do we abhor the same issues? Do our hearts beat faster for the same cause? Do they cry for what makes our Lord's heart cries?

Sometimes I wonder if, on the day we meet, I know that you are it right away. You are the person who silences all the "we could've been amazing" lies from those of my past. Somebody that I could trust, respect, and admire.

I can't help but ask as I think of you. . .
Do you feel connected to me? Will you check in and make sure I'm okay? Will you acknowledge and take care of my needs? Am I safe with you? Do you accept and approve of me? Will you take pride in me, protect me, and choose me over and over again, even on our worst days?

Despite the self-centred curiosity I have mentioned above, most of the time I feel like I don't deserve meeting you at all because you deserve a healthier and better version of me. You deserve a strong trustworthy companion. Someone that will handle things, whom you can rely on, so you can relax knowing she is on it and will make your life easier. Someone who will share and support your goals and be your no. 1 fan. Someone who will be your biggest admirer, loyal supporter, and loving encourager. Someone who is compatible with you. Am I good enough for you?

For some reason, I already have faith in you. I believe you are God's chosen servant whom He strengthens. God is pleased with you and has put His Spirit upon you. You will bring justice to the nations. You will not shout or raise your voice in public. You will not crush the weakest reed or put out a flickering candle. You will bring justice to all who have been wronged. You will not falter or lose heart until justice prevails throughout the earth. Distant lands will wait for your instruction.

Whoever you are and wherever you are, please know that I am praying for you. I pray you continue to taste and see how good God is. I pray you are a step closer to your biggest dream and highest goal every day. I pray you are an inch closer to God every minute, and somehow along the way, we are also an inch closer to one another (should I give you my address here? LOL). I pray we will create memories all over the world together.

You are a secretly incredible man and I can't wait to see you.

Expectantly,

Ms. Soon-to-be whateveryourlastnameis.