Day 86

"We move forward by analysing our past," said gnarly bay.

Being an over-thinker, I wonder, how much 'analysis' do I have to make until I can move forward? I wish there are some cue-cards that say: 'OK, time's up. Now, get going!' so I won't dwell too long in my afterthought.

When reminiscing my past, I seldom analyse good moments (for obvious reasons). But it's often tempting to analyse the 'not-so-good' ones, especially when I know I probably played a role in making them unpleasant. Sometimes I find myself asking, why did I waste those moments if they only led to disappointments? How did I fail that? How did I miss that? Was that supposed to mean something else? Did I misunderstand the situation? Was I being too reserved? Did I talk too much? Maybe I misread the whole thing. Maybe I shouldn't have been too much of an intuitive/feeler/introvert/blah blah. . .

If not, I would quietly analyse what other people did that may contribute to the let-down: How could they do that? What on earth were they thinking? Why would he say or do that? I wish we didn't have to go through all this. Maybe after all, I wasn't meant to be with an INTJ / INFP / ESFP / ENTP / blah blah . . . (LOL my mother and sister are SO going to rebuke me for writing that! #MyersBriggsfanatic Excusez-moi )

Overanalysing makes me stuck in a dangerous never-ending loop. It barely helps me move forward. It fills me with guilt, regret, and futility. I want to make good memories. I want to collect good stories. That's why it's so important for me to spend it well and wisely, so I can avoid making another pointless moment.

"Oh, no, those moments were not pointless." 

Why, of course some of them were! 

"Sure, if you aimed those things and those people for yourself. But every single occurrence in your past was never pointless; because through it, you and those people were drawn closer to Me. . .
OK, time's up. Now, get going!"