Day 100

Before getting into the euphoria of today's title, I've got to clarify that this is not my 100th post. Today marks the 100th day of me not going to the office doing my regular work (is it worth celebrating, though?). LOL

I started off the day poorly this late morning. I couldn't fall asleep until 4 am and then I was awakened by door-knocks at around 11 by one of the building staff to check whether or not any of our water tap was leaking. I forced myself to get up and opened the door for him, ignoring the fact that this body wasn't fully activated yet. What a horrible way to wake up! My whole body felt like it was run over by a train or truck. I immediately resumed my sleeping until late afternoon.

At around 5 pm, I suddenly felt energised. There was no burning sensation and no fatigue. I thought it was a good time to stretch a little bit and move around. The weather was nice too—sunny but not hot. My mother and I decided to walk to our favourite yogurt place next to Green Lake park. It was only 0.2 miles away and normal people would only take 5 minutes to walk there. Usually, on my way to Green Lake, I would take a few breaks to sit down and have some rest (at least two times). Today, however, I could walk without any resting! And by the time we arrived home, I didn't experience fatigue. My life is so unpredictable. MS's sense of humour is odd.

I wish my remission will last longer than a day, a year, or even forever. God's favour and love for me felt more real in my 'good days'. I could sense that He's working in my life more clearly when things go well. Don't you think so?

It made me think of my last devotional reading.

God is not working toward a particular finish— His purpose is the process itself. What He desires for me is that I see “Him walking on the sea” with no shore, no success, nor goal in sight, but simply having the absolute certainty that everything is all right because I see “Him walking on the sea” (Mark 6:49). It is the process, not the outcome, that is glorifying to God. 

God’s training is for now, not later. His purpose is for this very minute, not for sometime in the future. We have nothing to do with what will follow our obedience, and we are wrong to concern ourselves with it. What people call preparation, God sees as the goal itself. 

God’s purpose is to enable me to see that He can walk on the storms of my life right now. If we have a further goal in mind, we are not paying enough attention to the present time. However, if we realise that moment-by-moment obedience is the goal, then each moment as it comes is precious.

It's another solid reminder of keeping my eyes above the waves and walking upon the water despite the storm. What is more, I've come to learn that He is walking with me on the storms of my (MS) life right now. I believe that is a very good reason to make any day (not just today) worth-celebrating.