Just June

Picture a situation where you finally have the guts to do what you've always dreamt of—be it a study, a job, a relationship, or any sort of adventure. You are courageous enough to take a step, but then suddenly you hear...

"Don't be ridiculous! There's no way you can [...], you're just a [...]."

Ouch. What a way to kill someone's hope.

Maybe we are familiar with that situation because maybe sometimes it occurs in our days. But I must admit, I seldom hear those words from those around me. Those words often come from my head, instead.

I wanted to study further somewhere outside my continent.
Don't be ridiculous! There's no way I can go and live overseas again, I am just going to waste my family's money. 

I wanted to work at Pixar or Google.
Don't be ridiculous! There's no way I can work there, I am just an amateur. 

I wanted to travel to new places and meet new people.
Don't be ridiculous! There's no way I can move around, I am just a person with a disability. 

I wanted to make a positive impact and make a change.
Don't be ridiculous! There's no way I can contribute to communities, I am just an ordinary girl. 

...and so forth.

I contemplated my worthiness to achieve my goals a lot especially this month as I attempted to get a scholarship to undertake a master's degree next year. When I received an unsuccessful result, my confidence sank. Why did I even apply for that scholarship? Who am I? What have I done that is remarkable enough? Is the cause I'm promoting worth the effort? Maybe I should just change my goal. I felt ridiculous for even trying. There's no way I can get a scholarship, I'm just average.

Then my contemplation stumbled upon a story. A similar situation took place thousands of years ago in a war zone. It was a conversation between a boy named David and a king named Saul.

David: “Don’t worry about this Philistine. I’ll go fight him!” 

Saul: “Don’t be ridiculous! There’s no way you can fight this Philistine and possibly win! You’re just a boy, and he’s been a man of war since his youth.” 

David: “I have been taking care of my father’s sheep and goats. When a lion or a bear comes to steal a lamb from the flock, I go after it with a club and rescue the lamb from its mouth. If the animal turns on me, I catch it by the jaw and club it to death. I have done this to both lions and bears, and I’ll do it to this pagan Philistine, too, for he has defied the armies of the living God! The Lord who rescued me from the claws of the lion and the bear will rescue me from this Philistine!”

Long story short, David did fight Goliath and the Philistine and win the battle. He disproved Saul's judgement about himself and received the victory. So, what's the secret of David's confidence? David focuses on the Lord's ability, not his ability. David battles with God, not on his own. Hence, the giant fell and God triumphed.

So, next time I question myself or get questioned by other people, I'll remember this:

Quit focusing on my ability and start battling with God