Day 252

It's fascinating to see how well-travelled people these days. Is it because of airfares that are getting more affordable? Incomes that are getting higher? Or people who are getting more venturesome? Well, it could be all of them. The world now seems smaller and easier to explore. However, there are a few things people tend to overlook before departing to a foreign land.

According to my observation and brief experience, here are five things to remember—or five things that shouldn't surprise you—when starting a journey abroad ((these might not be relevant to short-term travellers)):

1. Our love for our hometown/home-country may seem to be fonder in a foreign land
After settling into the new place and the 'honeymoon phase' is over, we suddenly miss every little thing about our home—the smell and the taste of our favourite dish, the sound of our neighbourhood, the habit in our family, and the petty stuff that use to annoy us back home. Not just that, whenever we hear some words or phrases in our native language/dialect at public places, our faces will radiate and our hearts feel warm. As someone who did not have strong patriotic feeling, it was strange to see myself fervently promote my country to my non-Indonesian friends. I remember taking pride in my own culture and having a huge burden to see my homeland become a better nation. I felt like I was a representative of Indonesia and tried to convince many people to visit my country. Distance does make the heart grow fonder.

2. Our interest, preference and goal may change
Before we depart to the new land, chances are we've already known what we want to do or pursue — be it a course of study, a career, or a hobby. Yet, no matter how certain we are about our initial plans, they still could change. This shouldn't surprise us because it's a pretty common case. We meet new people, we go to new places, we experience new things and of course we discover new options. I have seen students switching their college majors, people changing jobs, and friends dating people from other race or different ethnic/religious background. It seems rather naive to expect us to be the same person before and after 'merantau' (seriously, what is the word for that in English?).

3. Our friendship/relationship may be seasonal
We only stay in a particular town or country temporarily and during those years we might move to different places. The friends we make and the relationships we build may not linger as long as we wish. We wouldn't know when people come and go, so what I did was cherishing every moment with every friend I've made while I could. Thankfully, the Internet has made it possible to stay in touch. I once watched a movie called The Spanish Apartment (or L'auberge espagnol) and it made me miss international student life. I only spent three years with my friends in Melbourne and two months with my friends in Colorado Springs but the memories stay in my mind for a long time. Thank God for Skype! Even so, no matter how close we were or how frequent we chatted, being in different places made it difficult to have deeper friendship. Eventually, we will have to accept the fact that there is a season for everything. For me personally, having friends all over the globe is a wonderful reason (or excuse?) to travel more and visit each of them. He-he.

4. We may redefine what or where our comfort zone is
The moment we decide to leave home to venture, we are saying yes to 'making uncomfortable places comfortable'. The more places we visit, the more comfort zones we create and the more confused we are with the term comfort zone. What we used to call 'foreign' now feels like home, what we used to call 'home' now feels unfamiliar. And this leads us into no. 5. . .

5. We may not want to return home
Now that we have changed to some extent, we see things differently, and home feels foreign, we wonder if we still look forward to returning to "where we belong" for good. Even the word 'for good' makes us cringe. What if we are more at ease on a track we know not? What if we belong in the far off place? A song by Yellowcard that I relate to about this dilemma is called 'Back Home': Don't know what I was looking for when I went home, I found me alone / And sometimes I need someone to say, "You'll be all right. What's on your mind?" / But the water's shallow here and I am full of fear, and empty handed after two long years //
The thought of leaving the thrilling adventure may cause melancholy. Reverse culture shock may take strenuous effort.

I realise these are my personal views and may not be applicable to everyone who lives abroad. There are some people who have been living overseas for years and can't wait to go back home. I could understand their longing. It's not always fun being 'guests' in other people's country. I am sharing these sentiments because I know there are more and more friends who are eager to explore the world outside their home. I hope this gives them a better glimpse of the experience. I am grateful to have tasted and seen the goodness of other lands and to have a homeland who is ready to welcome me back anytime.

I won't forget the famous speech by David McCullough Jr.: "Go to Paris to be in Paris, not to cross it off your list and congratulate yourself for being worldly."

I think that's an excellent reminder before you (or anyone you know) embark on 'perantauan':

when you travel to a certain place,

go there for the sake of being there

— not merely to tick off your bucket list