Seasons in life—both the highs and the lows—can impact a person's life quite significantly. Sometimes those seasons change that person, the other time they reveal who the person really is. When I first entered this interesting season of life with MS, I had no idea what it would do to me. Needless to say, I have learned (and still learn) a plenty of surprising wonderful and ugly things about myself. What's more surprising, this season also has taught me more about the people around me—my family and my friends. Somehow, my predicament has revealed the kind of people that they could be.
Before going any further, I would like to beg your pardon for any uneasy frankness I am about to share. I am not attacking anyone in this post. I am earnestly sharing my story in a supposedly safe place. May this be useful to anyone who, with sincere intention, longs to reach out to those who are experiencing hardship.
((Texts in magenta are originally by Eugene H. Peterson; I'm rewording them to be more fitting in my case))
In the last three years, I haven't been discreet about my struggle with MS (you may read my previous posts that mention this illness: Day 65, Day 77, Day 98, Day 100, Day 101, Day 108). As a result of that, I have received a large amount of supportive messages and hopeful prayers—which have blessed me greatly until now. I wouldn't say all of them successfully revived me, but I would say they really strengthened my family (yep, sometimes my parents need more of your encouragement than I do J).
The moment I found myself in sickness, people started showing up telling me exactly what's wrong with me (or my family) and what I must do to get better. Eugene H. Peterson writes, "sufferers attract fixers the way roadkills attract vultures".
At first, I was impressed that these dear friends actually took the time and made the effort to console me. I was amazed at their facility with answers. They knew so much! How did they get to be such experts in living? These people were full of spiritual diagnosis and prescription. It all sounded so hopeful. But then I began to wonder,
In every generation there are men and women who pretend to be able to instruct us in a way of life that guarantees that we will be "healthy, wealthy, and wise". According to the propaganda of these people, anyone who lives intelligently and morally is exempt from suffering. From their point of view, it is lucky for us that they are now at hand to provide the intelligent and moral answers we need.
However,
In our compassion, we don't like to see people suffer. But we should be careful not to do our "helping" with the presumption that we can fix things, get rid of them, or make them "better". When people who are committed to following God go through suffering, their lives are often transformed in remarkable ways that could never have been anticipated before the suffering.
Well, those are my two cents in the insightful words of Eugene H. Peterson. I hope this does not convey a wrong message of ingratitude or resentment. Let us respect the mystery of suffering, for it brings us a step closer to the threshold of the voice and mystery of God. It may take a while, or a year, or even decades until we fully understand the meaning behind the affliction that I am (and other people are) currently facing. But that's okay.
"Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.
Until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love."
- 1 Corinthians 13:9-13
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