Day 105

I have mentioned many times before; about how much of a future-oriented person I am. I could also be a person who often refrain from moving on because the past is so inviting. Someone on Twitter once said, "don't idolise the past; demonise the present; or romanticise the future. Engage in the story where God has placed you."

As much as I want to follow that wise advice, I still fail plenty of times.

I notice, a typical time to be tempted to go back to the past and open the old doors is when the ones in front of me are still locked. It becomes even more tempting if I don't seem to have the keys to those doors yet. Of course I have different options to do during that period:

1. I could take a deep sigh, turn around, and go back to what's familiar; or
2. I could shrug my shoulder, sit down, and wait to see what's going to happen; or
3. I could cudgel my brain, hustle, and find a way out; or
4. I could relax, take it easy, and knock on the new door.

The choice I make, not only will shift things around, but also determines my attitude. ((Here's another newsflash: I am quite indecisive. LOL)) Honestly, I wish I would have chosen to do option 4 in the past. In fact, I am still learning to choose that option nowadays again and again.

Why no.4?

Well, it is less tiring, less frustrating, and it cannot make the situation any worse. More importantly, it's what Jesus has reminded people repeatedly. Jesus tells us how to ask. Ask, seek, and knock, He says. These words progressively increase from desire to confidence. Think on that.

The act of knocking is a sign of sure belief that the door will be opened. Sometimes I have asked for what I desire. I have also sought to obtain them, at times. But I seldom have the increasing confidence that what I am looking for is behind the door, hence I pause in front of the door and don't knock.

Tonight I pray the Lord will get me to the other side. I pray He gives me His same confidence to rest my head in the midst of confusion, hesitation and skepticism. I pray to just knock.