Day 120

Ann Wigmore said,

"the food you eat can be either
the safest and most powerful form of medicine,
or the slowest form of poison."

In short, what we consume matters. It is silly to suppose we can maintain health with harmful food, or to believe we can stay in good shape with reckless lifestyle. Similarly, it is foolish to anticipate a healthy companionship while still being attached to unhealthy friendship or relationship.

Paul wrote to the church in Corinth, "don't fool yourselves. Bad company corrupts good characters." For quite a while, I treated that issue lightly. I thought I had it all under control. But I was a fool, I was never in control. I thought I possessed 'enough wisdom' to take care of myself. I thought I was mature enough to stay guarded. Although the attachment was not evil, I knew it was not wise—let alone healthy. As a consequence, my emotion was drained. Many nights I felt like I was losing my calm, peace, and prudence. Just like bad food, unhealthy attachment was a slow form of poison for my character and my soul. It certainly corrupted good character. It was almost impossible to be the best version of myself.

The good news is, I can do something about it. I need to start saying no to what "looks delicious" but actually contains toxic ingredients. If I could change my eating habit from 'the buffet' style to 'restricted diet' in order to be more healthy physically, why don't I also become more discerning in choosing my companion in order to stay healthy emotionally and spiritually? What's outside can be deceiving. What's inside? Only God knows.

Today is my country's independence day. It's been 70 years since Indonesia earned its freedom. I want to be liberated, as well. I want to be freed from destructive bond and any kind of unhealthy ties. Let's leave behind what's too heavy to hold. May we continue to taste freedom anywhere we go. Merdeka!

"I used to recognise myself

It's funny how reflections change

When we're becoming something else

I think it's time to walk away

When we know it just don't belong

There's no force on earth

Could make me feel right, no"