Day 243

I slept late these last few nights. I had long conversations with my friend who's been staying at our home to help me with the "Europe plan". She's like my older sister and has shared a lot of crucial 'unexpected' lessons that God has taught her through the circumstances she went through. My spirit was lifted and encouraged by her stories. That's why we kept on talking all night long.

Tonight, just before I tried to fall asleep, I read this passage:

"If you don’t take your stand in faith, you won’t have a leg to stand on.”

God spoke again to Ahaz. This time he said, “Ask for a sign from your God. Ask anything. Be extravagant. Ask for the moon!”

But Ahaz said, “I’d never do that. I’d never make demands like that on God!”

So Isaiah told him, “Then listen to this, government of David! It’s bad enough that you make people tired with your pious, timid hypocrisies, but now you’re making God tired. So the Master is going to give you a sign anyway.

Now, I don't want to take that passage out of context because I know it was a prophecy of Immanuel. What stood out from those verses was Ahaz's hesitancy to ask God anything whereas he was aware of what he needed. He acted piously by turning down God's offer. Therefore, not only did Ahaz exhaust human patience, he also exhausted the patience of the Lord!

I was convicted. It wasn't the first time I read Isaiah 7, especially that part. But tonight, it felt like God was making me aware of how tired He's been to see my pious pretence. I realised I have been telling people that I have quit planning things and I have got nothing to desire anymore. I thought I was being wise and ready to yield to God's plans. Deep down, God knew I wasn't.

The thought of me making God's tired caused great fear. I turned to my friend next to me and shared those verses. I asked her opinion and she told me, "Winda, ask the Lord your God for a sign of confirmation. Make it as difficult as you want—as high as heaven or as deep as the place of the dead. But don't just ask God for minor things or meaningless signs like the right city to go to, or the right country to live in, or the right school to study at, or even the right hospital/clinic to treat your MS! Such attitude makes God loses His patience.

What do you really want in this life?"

I was wordless for a few minutes. After putting some careful thoughts, I answered, "Isaiah 35, for sure."