Usually my worst days happen when the weather is too hot or too humid, or when I overwork, or when I have too much on my plate to handle (too many documents to complete or phone calls to make, for instance). Yesterday, though, I literally just opened my eyes when suddenly I sensed a bathroom urgency. That's when my day started to fall apart. All my body became tense from managing my 'weekly routine' haste (yeah, I don't have a normal no. 2 cycle a.k.a. irregular defecation/BM—so when it strikes, I wish it could've given me early notification).
Following that 'disaster', my limbs began to feel burning and tingling sensation, my head ached, and I felt nauseous. All I could do was laying down on bed but it wasn't easy to do because my feet felt so cold, almost frozen. How could I rest when my head kept spinning, my tummy felt like it's bloated, and I couldn't feel my legs?
Painful days like yesterday are when the battle between God's promises and the Enemy's lies gets more intense. Which one I'm turning my ears to? Which one gets louder? Who do I run to?
Nobody could understand how this feels — unless it happens to them. Of course I won't wish such things, like MS or other chronic illness, happen to my family and friends. But sometimes I wish there was a device that allowed them to experience what I've been experiencing, for at least 24 hours, just so they could get the idea how excruciating yet inexpressible this whole experience has been to me.
Every time someone asks me, "how does it feel?", I'm always torn between giving answers that imply 'don't belittle my situation!' or 'don't pity me!'.
I guess, for now, it's pointless and tiring to prove my invisible illness to other people. What I choose to do, instead:
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